Empty Vessel

This week I’m an empty vessel. I have no words to inspire you.

I often write late at night. Not necessarily because I want to, but because sanity only appears to enter my apartment hours after I have gotten home from work and set aside all the issues that I have allowed the outside world to lay upon me.

I turn off everything in my apartment and sit in the silence. The quietness will slow my pulse, and the silence opens my ears and something sacred happens. The soft slap of sandaled feet will break the stillness, a pierced hand will extend a quiet invitation, and I will follow.

I wish I could say it happens every night; it doesn’t. Some nights He asks and I don’t listen. Other nights He asks and I just don’t go. However, some nights I hear His poetic whisper, “Come to me, my son.” And I follow.

I am an empty vessel. “Fill my cup Lord, I lift it up Lord. Come and fill this thirsting in my soul. Bread from Heaven, feed me, until I want no more. Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole.”

Seeing the Source

Should a Same-Gender-Loving man see only popularity, he becomes a mirror, reflecting whatever needs to be reflected to gain acceptance. Though in vogue, he is vague. Though in style, he is stodgy.

Should a Same-Gender-Loving man see only power, he becomes a wolf—prowling, hunting, and stalking the elusive game. Recognition is his prey and people are his prizes. His quest is endless.

Should a Same-Gender-Loving man see only pleasure, he becomes a carnival thrill-seeker, alive only in bright lights, wild rides, and titillating entertainment. With lustful fever, he races from ride to ride, satisfying his insatiable passion for sensations only long enough to look for another…

Seekers of popularity, power, and pleasure. The end result is the same: painful unfulfillment.

Only in seeing our Maker do we truly become whole. For in seeing our Creator, we catch a glimpse of what we are intended to be.

“Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” John 14:9

A Bold Love

The love of a mother for her Same-Gender-Loving child, is there a love any deeper?

The love of God for His Same-Gender-Loving children, is there a love any bolder?

Woven through Scriptures, like the ribbons on a newborn’s quilt, are gentle reminders that God’s love is like that of a mother: deep, unrelenting, bold.

A bold love: The love of a mother. The Love of God, the Father.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfor you. (Isaiah 66:13).

Standing Alone

One of my favorite Christian songs (by Sara Groves) has the most interesting lyrics, “When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone…”

This song came to my mind when a good friend came to me searching for answers about his homosexuality as it relates to his spirituality. Often he comes to me seeking answers to address the doubt, pain and self-torment he is feeling. When someone comes to me with these sorts of questions or issues, I try to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit to counsel the person with love.

Sometimes providing sound counsel can be very difficult, especially when the person I am counseling has pre-conceived notions that he or she is unlovable because of their homosexuality. Many Same-Gender-Loving individuals believe that God will never love or accept them.

I try to explain the love of God, and how we have to accept and love ourselves as God loves us. My friend told me he did not want to hear this because it seemed too simple. I tried to explain, “It is just that simple. God truly loves us no matter who we are or what we have done.”

He laughed and sarcastically stated, “That sounds like a line from your book.”
I said, “It’s not a line from a book, but it’s the foundation on which my book was written—a book which you refused to read because you like most homophobic homosexuals feel that it promotes homosexuality.”
“If it is not promoting homosexuality,” he asked, “what it is promoting?”
“It is promoting the undeniable and undying love of Christ and nothing else.”

He responded in anger. “I need answers; I don’t have time for this kind of fictional love you’re talking about. I thought after talking to you I would feel better, however, I still feel like I’m standing alone!” After my friend walked out, slamming the door behind him, I sat speechless and shocked from his fury. In addition, I was disappointed that I could not help.

It appears that the love that I was offering and the wonderful love of Christ is not enough to overcome the issue of homosexuality in my friend’s heart. His pain may go far deeper than his sexuality. His pain may be in his choices. The choice he has made to push people away and the choice of accepting the feelings that he is not worthy to be loved by God or anyone else because of his sexuality. On the other hand, maybe the root of his pain is the yearning and need for another man’s touch.

My friend may not accept the fact that while he did not have had a choice regarding his sexuality. He does, however, in this journey of life, have a choice in the helping hands that can lead him to his peaceful final destination.

“When I stand before the Lord, I’ll be standing alone. This journey is my own.” How we travel through this journey is a choice.