An Undeserved Gift

We take our gift of salvation and try to earn it or diagnose it or pay for it instead of simply saying “thank you” and accepting it.

Ironic as it may appear, one of the hardest things to do is to be saved by grace. There is something in us that reacts strangely to God’s gift. We have some weird compulsion to create laws, systems, and regulations that will make us “worthy” of our gift.

Why do we do that? The only reason I can figure is that we cannot believe that the same God that the church states has condemn us, is willing to offer us such an undeserved gift. To accept grace means to accept its necessity and most people don’t like to do that. To accept grace also means that one realizes his or her despair, and most people aren’t too keen on doing that either.

Romans 5:15

"Sometimes I"

Sometimes I hide behind the term “Same-Gender-Loving” because the word “Gay” has such negative conations. Sometimes as invisible as we are to the world as black men, we are even more invisible to Black America as SGL men.

Sometimes I know that I, a Same-Gender-Loving individual am an aspect of God’s creations that many people do not yet understand. Sometimes, I don’t understand.

Sometimes I hide behind the postings that I use to inspire you. As positive as they are, at times I get very exhausted trying to inspire others, often finding my self emotionally drained.

Sometimes I think about loving someone and falling in love again. Sometimes real love can be the mirror that will keep away the ones who lie about commitment.

Sometimes I crave deep meaningful, spiritual relationship with someone who is comfortable with God and with himself. Someone with whom I can pray in the mornings, and hold tight through the night. Sometimes I yearn for the intimacy that I once found with a stranger that was lost the moment I told him to go away.

Sometimes the fear of growing old, alone inspires me to do and accomplish things I never knew I could. My human fears are the catalyst in which God has chosen as the avenue to glorify Him. However, Sometimes, I feel that God’s love is not enough. Sometimes, I break God’s heart. Sometimes it’s intentional. Sometimes I ask for forgiveness… Sometimes I rebel.

Sometimes, I take life too seriously; Sometimes I do not take it seriously enough. Sometimes I miss my twenty-year friendship; Sometimes I hate that I… Sometimes I love… Sometimes I…

Sometimes I sit at God’s feet and ask Him “why?” Sometimes I ask God for a life-long partner. Sometimes I wonder why I expect so much. Sometimes I wonder why I am willing to give so much.

Sometimes my skin is hungry and needs to be touched. Sometimes I crave the tender kiss, the passion, and the intimacy of a heartbeat next to mine. Someone who will allow me to satisfy his itch… or one whom will satisfy mine.

Sometimes I hide. Sometimes I crave. Sometimes I pray. Sometimes I hurt. Sometimes, I just smile…

With your own words you formed me; breathe your wisdom over me so I can understand you. Now comfort me so I can live, really live. Psalm 119:73 (The Message)

Happy Birthday

Today on August 10th. I celebrate. My Birthday. With those pictured below.

Michael Bivins
Antonio Banderas
Patti Austin

You knit me together in my mother's womb. Psalm 139

Acceptance

I heard about a child who was adopted into a family when he was ten years old. He was having a little difficultly feeling truly accepted by his new family until the day came when his father said to him, "Here's your set of chores." The child said, "When I knew that I had been given certain responsibilities, just like all the other kids, I knew I was on my way to being accepted," Then he added, "But I knew I was fully accepted when my dad punished me for failing to complete my chores. He punished me just the same as he did the other kids when they failed to do their chores, no desert that night and no watching TV until the job was done the next day. That's when I knew I was really a part of the family."

Acceptance means being included into a group, with the same status, same rules, same consequences, same treatment. Showing acceptance means treating a person just as you would like to be treated.

Anytime you seek to give love and care to another person, you must examine your motives and ask, Am I willing to accept this persson just as he or she is?