Choice

Coming up with a weekly posting that will inspire or strengthen Same-Gender-Loving individuals can be difficult. There are times when I sit at my computer mentally constipated, struggling to get out the message within; however, nothing happens. Other times like running water through an uncapped faucet, the message seems to just flow and I am happy to go with it. I allow the message to flow from my mind to fingertips onto the keys of my laptop. At times, I try to examine this struggle, wondering why sometimes I am stumped and other times I am not. Some would call it “writers block.” I refuse to name it, claim it, or acknowledge it. My fear is if I acknowledge it, it may manifest itself into something real.

I remember once my younger sister shared her dream where she was asking Christ why things were not going so well with her, why was she experiencing so many roadblocks. In her dream, Christ took her up into the atmosphere where she could see the whole earth. He told her that she could accomplish anything in this world; however, there is only one thing that is stopping her. She stares as she looked down at the earth. All she saw was clear blue water. Christ told her to look deeper to see the very thing that was hindering her. A few seconds later, her reflection appeared, staring back at her. “There,” he said, “the very thing that is causing you to fail.”

I am the source of my hindrances, and maybe you are the source of yours. Just as the world has isolated Same-Gender-Loving persons in an esoteric group of our own, there are times when I feel isolated in trying to communicate to this group.

It may be true that we are a select group; however, our SGL status is not a factor when it comes to accepting God’s love, conveying His message or sharing something that only He knows will inspire or offer comfort. We, African Americans Same-Gender-Loving people are God’s people too. When I was out of a job, searching and praying for a new one, it had nothing to do with the fact that I’m a homosexual. When I didn’t have enough money to cover the bills, caught a cold, had a flat tire, lost a loved one or even experienced a broken heart—these things had nothing to do with my sexuality. However within each of these things are questions, messages and choices. Will I allow these to hinder my growth? If I’m out of a job, will I stop seeking employment because I am SGL? If I have a cold, will I not seek medicine because I am a homosexual? If my tire is flat, will I fix it regardless of my sexual orientation? If I loose a loved one, as a child of God will I choose to go on?

Most of my postings offer inspiration, while simultaneously offering a message and a choice. It is hard to get through to a group of human being with special needs who have been told they are not worthy of God’s love. However, something deep within me tells me to keep trying.

Whether I’m standing in my own way or plagued with the voices from my childhood that tell me “God hates all homosexuals,” I must remember the message God conveys to me daily, “You are important to Me.” The most wonderful thing about this message is that you don’t have to be a homosexual, heterosexual, black, white, male or female to embrace it. You just have to be willing. God has given you the choice and His love is strong enough that He has given you the freedom to make it.

How Racism Works

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said 'I do' to? What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards? What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to painkillers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization? What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?What if Obama were a member of the 'Keating 5'? What if McCain was a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

If these questions reflected reality, do you really believe the election numbers would be as close as they are?

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

From Letters to the Editor @ Forth Worth Star-Telegram - Kelvin LaFond, Fort Worth

Obama's Silence

Last night I dreamt I was having a conversation with presidential candidate Barak Obama.

In my dream, I could not tell if the conversation was by telephone or in person. Nonetheless, we seemed to be extremely close. I told him that although I am one of his supporters, I was not always. I was not sure he had what it would take to be our president but now I am.

He assured me that he would do a good job as the next president of the United States of America. As we continued to talk, he called my name with strength and care. When I responded, there was a long pause as if he was not sure of what he should say, what he was thinking, or that he was concerned about how I would respond. His last word to me was… “Purple.”

In my dream, I had the impression that the dream was less about him becoming our next president and more about that something that we shared, some strong bond we had in common. What was that bond? Was it the mere fact that we are both African American men, or was it more? Although I am not sexually attracted to him, could there be some strange attraction that has started to surface from deep within my subconscious? Alternatively, does the closeness we shared have to indicate a physical attraction? Maybe our closeness is brotherhood or bondage.

However somewhere in that long pause, I sensed something. Could God be attempting to reveal something to me about biblical prophecy? It is possible God only reveals to me the things that my mind can comprehend. On the other hand, could it be that as a Same-Gender-Loving person I have limited God and my mind only to what my heart desires?

What about Obama’s last word, “Purple”? When I think about the word purple, I think of royalty, the color of Kings. I think there might have been an unspoken message from God that lingered in the silence of Obama’s pause. I could not hear the message because my mind and my heart were flooded with the cares of my world. I could not hear God’s message because I was more attuned to me and not Him.

Maybe, somewhere in the silence was the sound of God’s voice drowning out Obama’s voice. Maybe the connection in my dream that I thought I had with Obama is really the strong connection I have in reality with God.

Do I support really Obama? Is he destined to be our next president? Is he the next best thing to happen to the U.S.? Does the fact the he is an African American man make my decision for me? Am I happy to select an African American for president? Could I just not hear God speaking loudly because I sometimes feel that He does not speak to Same-Gender-Loving people? On the other hand, maybe the message was truly biblical prophecy that God chose to reveal to me. However, I used the fact that I am a Same-Gender-Loving person and Obama’s silence to reject it.

On the other hand, maybe this is one dream I will never understand.

Heaven Knows Your Heart

Think for just a moment about the things you own. Think about the house you have, the car you drive, the clothes you’ve purchased and the money you’ve saved. Envision all your stuff, and let me remind you of two biblical truths.

Your stuff isn’t yours. Ask any coroner… No one takes it with him. When one of the wealthiest men in history, John D. Rockefeller, died, his accountant was asked, “How much did John D. leave?” The accountant’s reply? “All of it.”

All that stuff—it’s not yours. You know what else about all that stuff? It’s not you. Who you are has nothing to do with the clothes you wear or the car you drive. Jesus said, “Life is not defined by what you have, even when you have a lot” (Luke 12:15 MSG). Heaven does not know you as the fellow with the nice suit or the woman with the big house. Heaven knows your heart.

“Naked a man comes from his mother’s womb, and as he comes, so he departs.” Ecclesiastes 5:15 NIV

Atlanta's Black Pride

This week posting is not filled with words of inspiring. I spent most of this weekend entertaining a friend who flew in to join the celebration of Black Pride in Atlanta, Ga.

I chose not to join in on the many “festivities.” To me, gay pride has become more about the parties and less about taking pride in oneself as a same-gender-loving person.

While I did not partake in any of the many parties and events going on in Atlanta, I did make a choice to attend an event called the “Blue & White Party” presented by Karats and the Men of Methane Entertainment’s. This group caters to the mature group of same-gender-loving individuals.

I applaud and say well done to this group; the party was tastefully done, offering great music and food in a very relaxed, smoke free environment and featured the wonderful dynamic voices of Dawn McCain and Eva Kennedy.